I need toilet paper, or I'm gonna shit my pants Rolling doobies, doing the poo-poo dance Too much Whataburger, no paper towels in sight Gotta call my lady, for an afternoon blumpkin delight Leonidas, you excite us, but not as much as your Pa Leonidas, if you'd invite us, we'd gladly join your menage a trois Feed my need for sugar, cocaine, and Maiden jams But I can't get my cigs from CVS, that's really fucked up, man Sleeping with the lights on, each day until you depart Leonidas when you leave us, you'll surely break our chicken hearts Leonidas, you excite us, but not as much as your Pa Leonidas, if you'd invite us, we'd gladly join your menage a trois

Fuck yourself If you're cool you'll do it Fuck yourself Youre the only one who'll do it Get yourself some combat boots Or holey rotting chucks Get a dread hawk mullet That says i don't give a fuck Get a thrift store jacket And then cut off both the sleeves Cover it with patches That you ordered from a zine Safety pins, spikes and studs Razor blades, and chains Get yourself a fucking dog And hop a fucking train Dont need soap, deodorant Underwear, or socks The only thing you need in this world Is punk fucking rock Rant tattoos/piercings Fuck yourself Do it, you won't do it Fuck yourself You won't do it, do it Have only strong opinions But never read a book Hate everyone with money They're a chump or they're a crook You don't need a job When you squat to pay the rent Why pay fucking taxes Just say fuck the government Say fuck the man Every single fucking day Kill the fucking fascists But their food stamps are ok Too bad you can't get fucked up On social subsidies But if you can sell some drugs Then all of them are free Rant girlfriend Fuck yourself Do it, you won't do it Fuck yourself You won't do it, do it Later down the road You'll probably want to start a band Hoping to fuck horny sluts From all across the land Its really fucking east You don't need yo know to play Trying hard at anything Is really fucking gay Smash in people's face While you're throwing piss filled cans Burn down the fucking venue Just to show that you're a man And when you go to jail I promise it won't be that bad When you can't afford the bail You can always Just call your dad Thats right Call your dad Cause you just fucked yourself You didn't see it coming You fucked yourself Its really fucking funny (Times two) I guess you fucked yourself

Milk! Not Bees! Hooves! Not Wings! Spots! Not Stripes! CHOOSE YOUR SIDE!!! Cause I don’t want some insect! Buzzing round my head! I just want some milk and, a cup to put it in, Because milk is delicious! While bees tend to swarm, Milk has calcium, GO ASK YOUR FUCKING MOM! Milk! Not Bees! Hooves! Not Wings! Spots! Not Stripes! CHOOSE YOUR (FUCKING) SIDE!!! Scientist will tell you, Bees pollinate our crops! Well, I’m Here to tell you! That Scientists are jerks! I’m sick and tired of my allergies, and I”ve grown weary of humanity, And I Just Want To! I just want to! (group vocals) Breathe through my nose! Breathe through my nose! (group vocals) And I just need to! I just need to! (group vocals) Eradicate my foes! ERADICATE MY FOES!!! Milk! Not Bees! Hooves! Not Wings! Spots! Not Stripes! CHOOSE YOUR SIDE!!! People are like bovines, They graze away their days, So i have no choice but, to turn you into paste! People are like bovines, They graze away their days, So i have no choice but, to turn you into PASTE!!!

Huff gas Reject life Live fast Child wife The Kobra Klub is your enemy The Kobra Klub is your only friend Cut your brain out, remove what's dead to me The Kobra Klub won't ever end Don't ask questions You don't understand You're a maggot You're not a man Huff gas Reject life Live fast Child wife (2X) You can't know what pain is You can't understand You are just a maggot You are not a man The Kobra Klub won't help you The Kobra Klub won't leave you alone Step into line and we might accept you Reject this life or you're on your own! Huff gas Reject life Live fast Child wife

North Shore, South Shore Hurtin' for some fuckin' whores We'll ride these chick like Paul Revere Did you call me a fuckin' queer? Hang in Boston Harbor drinkin' Nati fucking Lights When we don't get all our dicks wet we'll be looking for a fight Ya got it fuckin' good, kehd Ya got a fuckin' job, kehd You're the fuckin' man, guy You're gonna be a dad, dude Wake up in the morning and I wanna bang my chick But my Irish baby dick won't even work without my Dunkin' fix Hop in my 150, shippin' off to Dropkick songs You can fuck you're 9/11, cause we're Boston fucking Strong Ya got it fuckin' good, kehd Ya got a fuckin' job, kehd You're the fuckin' man, guy You're gonna be a dad, dude

People like you who are mean to people like me are fucking assholes. People like me who are nice are only nice because we hate assholes. So if you think that it’s okay to go around being an asshole, Then go ahead and do what you do. But I’m not defenseless. There are consequences. I said I’m not defenseless. There are consequences. I got violence in my blood. I got violence in my bones, And I’ll fucking beat you down til you’re lying in the stones. I’ll crack your fucking skull and I’ll rip open your chest. I’ll fuck you in the heart and I’ll shit on the rest.

Oi! Oi! Oi! Oi! Oi! Oi! Oi! Oi! Oi! Oi! Oi! Oi! My name is KFC. I got HIV and it burns every time when I take a pee. You wanna step to me? Bitch get ready for the STD of the Century. The syphilis gives this dick no rest. Please work these herpes infested testes. Lemme give you a beef injection. Nevermind the bleeding infection. It's just a pus-filled scabie. If I say please will you just chill, baby? It's okay. Lay down. Let a player play. Maybe you won't hate pissin straight razor blades. The AIDS ain't as bad as the gonorrhea. Give up the ass while I got you here. You got your beer. Drink it and drop your fears. Besides, I got my disease from a lot of your peers. STD of the Century Oi! Oi! Oi! STD of the Century Oi! Oi! Oi! STD of the Century Oi! Oi! Oi! STD of the Century Oi! Oi! Oi! It was easy for them. They ain't as sleazy as you. Don't get a sudden case of heebie jeebies, boo. You wanna do me. That was spoken truly. Who be the man who can expand your booty? I'm fixin to stick a dick in you. The rash don't last but a minute or two. Forget the bumps on my bum cause I still function. When I have an orgasm, chunks of cum Lubricated by pus run through your guts. Baby, won't you grab these crabby nuts? See, the lice don't bite. No need to fight. I can give you white mites all through the night Crawlin all in your wrinkles. If the pussy was ice cream, the crabs are the sprinkles. If I make it bleed when you tinkle, think of this as a gift from Kris Kringle. STD of the Century Oi! Oi! Oi! STD of the Century Oi! Oi! Oi! STD of the Century Oi! Oi! Oi! STD of the Century Oi! Oi! Oi! The walls are smaller when the muff is puffy. It's better than wet when the pussy is pus-y. So don't get all pissy and fussy, bitchy and huffy, hussy, just fuck me. Trust me. No emcee's nuts be as crusty as my nuts be so just be relaxed, ho. We don't need no condom. You got tumors on your titties and I want to cum on them. So come on then and paw them crusty nuts that just be ready to erupt. An explosion of pus, blood, and cum might be the right stuff to scrub the scum Out from in between your labia that be feelin like the sands of Arabia, You fuckin slut. We may as well go to bed. You got yeast like a motherfuckin loaf of bread. STD of the Century Oi! Oi! Oi! STD of the Century Oi! Oi! Oi! STD of the Century Oi! Oi! Oi! STD of the Century Oi! Oi! Oi! No head could ever be as good as yours, the way you suck my dick with open sores. It makes my pores open up and I start to sweat down my back. It gets my asscrack wet. You could slide your tongue in between my bumcheeks bitch, and it would make my knees weak If you would lick my anal warts. So long as ain't no hemorrhoidal pain of course. I got All sorts of venereal shit that you can't even get cause it's not even out yet. It's a disease from the year 2073. They're gonna have to name the shit after me, Naturally. But don't laugh at me. If you think it's nasty, that's how it has to be. So all the stank bitches in the house just stick this dick in your mouth plus bend over. I'll stick it into ya as long as your ass don't got chlamydia. And any dudes who be like me, you ain't gotta get checked for an STD. Naw. Don't bother goin’ to the doctor. Just rape a passed out bitch. She won't stop ya. STD of the Century Oi!

I was walkin down the street With a mighty need to pee But all the shops were closed No matter where i'd go Now i'm a good little bucket And i tried to stick with it But i had to say fuckit And risk the fuckin ticket Bad luck what the fuck give a dog a bone knick knack paddywack we all die alone Yeah Now i didnt piss the lot Just a nipper off the top But when i turned around Coppers barreling down In cute little fucking golf cart They say, "boy, you think you're smart?" Now i tried to appeal But those cunts, they wouldn't deal Bad luck what the fuck give a dog a bone knick knack paddywack we all die alone So i got a citation For public urination And when i started skanking They changed my crime to wanking! Now i got me a mean streak And i was holding back a mean stream And what they done, it pissed me off So i pissed on the cops Piss on the cops Yeah i fuckin done it Piss on the cops And i would do it again, frankly Piss on the cops I advise you to do the same in my situation Piss on the cops That's the god's honest truth Piss on the... Bad luck what the fuck give a dog a bone knick knack paddywack we all die alone So i pissed in one's face Turned his meats into paste And blood poured out his eye holes While i eyed my next foe I pissed on their cute fucking cart It flew 'cross the car park It flew off into traffic With that next cop, oh how tragic Bad luck what the fuck give a dog a bone knick knack paddywack we all die alone Now i was feeling triumphant I felt like a trumpet So i pissed towards the stars And there they all still are Tiny twinkling little droplets Up with the sun and the comets And when i look up at the night sky I feel a deep sense of pride. Cause i pissed on the cops You know what you're in? Piss on the cops You're in urine nation Piss on the cops Urination Piss on the cops You're in urine nation Piss on the... Bad luck what the fuck give a dog a bone knick knack paddywack we all die alone Yeah

Whats with the crown? Who anointed my feet? Why are you worshipping? Why are you worshipping me? What fate have you lead me to? Were nails really necessary? I’m a little unsettled, WHERE IS MY DAD?!!

Cigarettes and alcohol Population control The rumors are true, they say Aliens will have their way Watch out They're near Smoke Cigs Drink beer They are here to herd the sheep Abducting us in our sleep Taking us to outer space Feeding us to their own race Look out They're here Smoke cigs Drink beer Run away from certain death Before you breathe your last breath Aliens are here to stay They will get you, there's no other way

Every time they come up to the window: “It’s just one type of bread” Not that you’re supposed to know, But it’s just one type of bread. It may sound a bit absurd, But I wish I was dead. How many times have I heard, “It’s just one type of bread”? But that’s not all, there’s so much more About these fucks that I abhor Bustin’ ass, but not makin’ tips “Excuse me, sir, those are just display chips” Downright dicks and stuck-up bitches, Deal with them before you do Dane’s dishes Then close his bus, ‘cause he’s “gotta run” I hear time flies when you’re having fun But not for me, I’ll stay here all night No one ever comes, but, who knows, right? They might come at five ‘til close When everything’s wrapped and you’re ready to go And then it’s a Field Trip that they want, “No, those are ones, it’s just the font. Excuse me sir, this card’s not valid. What’s that? Change it to a Sunrise salad?” “Wrong, sir! Wrong! Under section 37B of the contract signed by him, it states quite clearly that all offers shall become null and void if - and you can read it for yourself in this photostatic copy: ‘I, the undersigned, shall forfeit all rights, privileges, and licenses herein and herein contained, et cetera, et cetera... Fax mentis incendium gloria cultum, et cetera, et cetera... Memo bis punitor delicatum!’ It's all there, black and white, clear as crystal! You stole fizzy lifting drinks! You bumped into the ceiling which now has to be washed and sterilized, so you get nothing! You lose!” And it could be worse, I know, it’s true And it wouldn’t be so bad if there were something to do But I can’t slice tomatoes, ‘cause the blades’re too dull I can’t do the dishes, ‘cause the gray water’s full Can’t makes change, ‘cause we’re out of fives Can’t unwrap beef, ‘cause it’s been wrapped eight times. You swear some day you’ll kick these Short Bus shoes, But until that day, I’m afraid, you lose.

We were two-stepping at the Devil's Backbone Come and take it, you said to me Your husband fights for freedom but you feel so allow He shot his penis off overseas We kept it strictly Christian and we fucked in the mish I came, you faked it, we both had fun I looked down at my lambskin it was wet as a fish My dick leaked inside your sticky bun Abort, Abort, Abort, Abort Abort, Plan B, Abort, Plan B Abort that zygote immediately I saw you at the gun show you were filling your rack Come and take it, I said to you You pistol-whipped my boner and depleted my sack I think your name was Bobby Lee Sue We kept it real conservative and fingered our butts I came, you came too, we did the deed But now all of my semen is all up in your gut And fertilizing your seed, smoke weed Abort, Abort, Abort, Abort Abort, Plan B, Abort, Plan B Coat hang that fetus immediately Abort, Abort, Abort, Abort Abort, Plan B, Abort, Plan B Abort, Abort, Abort, Abort Abort, Plan B, Abort, Plan B My mother should have aborted me chuckbucketpunkatxyouloseepcumandtakeit

Where the hell is my, Disability check? How the fuck am I, Supposed to buy cigarettes? Oh well, I guess I’ll eat more pills, Shits getting real, Down here in Frumpsville!! CATS!, CATS!, CATS!, CATS!, PILLS!, PILLS!, PILLS!, PILLS!, CATS!, CATS!, CATS!, CATS!, YOUR TAX DOLLARS, PAY MY BILLS!!!! I buy my DVDs, from the HEB bargain bin, Then bring my prescription, Over to the pharmacist, They lowered my dosage? WHAT FRESH HELL! (group vocals) Shits gettin real down here in Frumpsville!! CATS!, CATS!, CATS!, CATS!, PILLS!, PILLS!, PILLS!, PILLS!, CATS!, CATS!, CATS!, CATS!, YOUR TAX DOLLARS, PAY MY BILLS!!!! SWEATPANTS! MORPHINE! TV! PHONE CALLS! WIND CHIMES! COEDINE! NETFLIX!